Phan Thị Kim Phúc
Long Lasting smile
OCTOBER 20, 2023
I saw her picture when I was 7. I remember describing her as the girl that ran while screaming and holding her arms wide. I used to emphatically open my arms to make people understand which one I was talking about.
Since then, every time a conversation went about war, I always referred to her photo; This terrified girl that seemed so unreal to me that I could never imagine that this was a real-life occurrence.
On June 30 of 2022, I saw another picture of her. She was undergoing the final treatment for her wounds. She was smiling.
This picture was so contradictory to the one that had stuck to my mind when I was little.
As I found out, Kim Phuc always smiles. She smiles with no intent to deceive, but with warmth and compassion.
Nick Ut, the man who took her picture that marked a generation, said something similar when she visited her. He admitted that to his surprise, “when she was allowed to return home for just one day after a year in the burned/wounds unit, she found her home burned down and destroyed, but Kim Phuc was SMILING.
I wanted to meet her immediately. Without holding back, I sent her an email, which I reread a couple months after sending it and I felt embarrassed because of how abstract it was. In this email, it was evident I was inspired and fascinated, and maybe that is why she agreed to speak to me and honored me with this interview.
Mrs. Phuc, which adults, or what kind of people represented for you the security and hope that helped you continue your life?
What has made me feel secure has changed throughout my life. When I was in the hospital, the love, compassion, and help I received from the doctors and nurses encouraged me to go on. I still have that image of them, and I always talk in my speech about how they inspired me to dream of becoming a doctor myself one day. Being around them made me feel so secure. When I returned home, my family’s love and support made me feel much better. Since I became a Christian, God is so real to me and I pray constantly. I believe Jesus is in control and He gives me all the security I need to continue to think right and do right. Being married I have great trust in my husband to take care of me.
Which of your personality traits have helped you become a functional adult but above all a smiling person free from anger, fear and guilt?
Faith. My trust in and obedience to Jesus, to God. I know that He gives me peace and joy. Whenever I’m faced with anger, fear, or guilt, I quickly run to the Lord; I pray and ask Him for the wisdom for how I can respond to the situation or challenge. This gives me a beautiful smile that starts from inside and shows on my face.
How do you assume your life would be today if June 8, 1972 had not happened?
I assume if the events of June 8, 1972, had not happened to me, I would be a very ordinary little girl growing up, going to school, and living a normal life. Naturally everyone needs that kind of life with no war, no violence. Of course, we still deal with problems in life, but not that much.
Leading psychiatrist Peter Levine has found that when a person begins to sleep, he begins to process his trauma. If we take sleep as a prerequisite and restart the self-regulation of the normality of your life, do you remember any of the first beautiful dreams that you can report to us? I can’t explain why but I wonder what language you spoke in them: English or Vietnamese?
In the beginning I had a lot of nightmares and trauma. I remember a good dream I always had and really enjoyed. I would get into a beautiful garden full of flowers, and I would chase the butterflies. I also dreamed of becoming a princess. There are a lot of plays with Vietnamese music and folklore with beautiful dresses. Growing up with that culture I desired to wear all kinds of dresses. I would always watch comedies like I Love Lucy, and I would completely avoid any movies about war or any kind of violence.
Irvin Yalom says he has learned to respect the persistence and power that certain dates, anniversaries or birthdays have for traumatized people. Do you want to tell us something similar about you?
My wedding anniversary is September 11,that day is the happiest anniversary in our life, but it makes me remember the events in New York in 2001, which is really sad. It was huge; I cannot imagine the tragedy that happened that day. I cannot control what happened, but I always celebrate with my husband. Yes of course we feel saddened for what happened in New York, but we also let it go and celebrate our anniversary.
Could you please say a prayer or a verse from a church hymn that gives you strength and joy? Maybe a prayer you say for children and people who are abused by those who should normally be protecting them such as family, friends, their country etc.
I ask God please to protect the children, the people who are suffering right now, and to heal them and give them strength, a new strength every single day that they can endure what they are suffering now. I ask that He will open the door for them to heal spiritually and give them peace, grace, comfort, and heal their wounds physically and spiritually so that they can learn to use their suffering to help other people, just like me. In the past I suffered; but now I’ve learned that I can use my pain, my hatred from before to understand people who are facing with those things, and I can give them hope. I pray that God gives them peace inside and hope in the future like I experienced.
I love Amazing Grace. I was in the situation so dark, so painful, within and out, but by the grace of God, His Amazing Grace, He loved me and He picked me up and healed me and turned a very bad situation into something beautiful. He made me to become an honoured vessel and gave me purpose and joy and a relationship with Him which is the main thing I wish to mention
The satisfaction of my ambition and the excitement I had from Mrs.’s Phuc positive response to the interview, didn’t last long. As I studied to come up with questions, my admiration grew bigger. I was also intimidated by her profound position in the history of mankind.
It was too late to withdraw, as guilt filled my body when I realized that she avoided interviews about Vietnam, because they fed the propaganda that was forcing her to speak about her experience for so long.
Mrs. Phuc had kindly asked me to prepare 2-3 questions. I prepared more because I couldn’t choose which ones she would find more interesting. Eventually, she answered all of them, because that’s who she is. A generous person.
Lastly, I want to make up for the scrappy email I initially sent to her.
I recently read her answer when a journalist told her:
-“But you know that you are beautiful, don’t you?».
-I know. God showed me that. I grew up with the scars. I compared even my worst scars to buffalo skin because my scars had no pores and were rough to the touch. But I learned how to conquer and overcome that kind of ugliness, from a little girl seeing my burnt skin because I changed my attitude. God made amark on me to remind me, “I am with you, Kim. You are nothing. I’m with you. I can make you beautiful.” That is the beauty. It comes from inside, not from outside. You see that is everything.»
That is why I wanted an interview with her and that’s what I was trying to express in the first email: My admiration for the magic of her confidence and her everlasting smile despite the wounds in her body. Kim Phuc brought down the stereotypes of beauty long before models with unconventional beauty came in trend. I am referring to campaigns made about people burned with acid, with albinism or artificial parts.
“The only thing that I hope people learn from my life story is that ‘the little napalm girl’ is no longer a victim.”
Υοu can be sure Mrs. Phuc! There is a reason you have this name!
«Kim Phuc is my first name which means golden happiness. Kim means gold, and Phuc happiness so Kim Phuc together translates to Golden Happiness. »
